It’s smothering

this skin

clingy and close

Somedays

I wish I could escape it

escape me

for just a little while

Somedays

it would be hard to return

Most days

I wake hoping

to feel inspired

But it strikes

like a lightning bolt

at the most unpredictable

places.

The evening clouds

were magic: light, dark, glowing,

breathing through the sky.

When I went to bed

I was upset, I was angry,

acting like I slept

When you crawled in too

I stayed awake just hoping

you’d kiss me goodnight

Some days (and nights too)

it feels like a single breath

could knock me over

On nights like this one

I miss how the rain falls down

and kisses the ground

Summer’s gone now

and many things have fallen

The rain still hasn’t.

Sometimes I feel that

my body cannot contain

everything I feel.

I’m a wreck

and you know it

not through any fault of yours

no

I do this myself

and I’m just lucky you’re there

to keep me

going.

I’m always searching

for another connection…but

can’t seem to find one.

People are all talk,

it seems, like a showy flash

of color that’s gone.

What is it—

the creature that clings to your spine

cuddling

while the other claw tugs your heart

downward

and it whispers through your blood

hissing

reminding you of all

…that you don’t have
…that you once had
…that you can no longer have.

It’s no use

surgery

the thing is so intimately close

separation

would pull you to pieces.